I was surprised a while ago to find that, on first meeting me, many people do not take me seriously. Why? It appears it is because of what I wear.
Appearance defines us.
What is wrong with my appearance? I have long dark blond hair, I often wear makeup (although not all the time). Sometimes I wear skirts and dresses and even high heeled shoes. Other times, no make, hair swept back, comfy shoes, jeans and tee shirt. I thought that was pretty ordinary, but a couple of incidents made me question how I have chosen to look.
In a gay pub, holding my partners hand and a man in there insisted that we could not possibly be gay, simply because we do not look like lesbians! What did he expect lesbians to look like exactly? Are we all supposed to look like a stereotype?
Then there was the woman who refused to even acknowledge me at a feminist meeting, sitting in a defensive posture and ignoring my general chatter. Then I started to talk about feminism. I watched the arms unfold and the eyes open. Now she is one of my greatest friends – a friendship nearly denied because of my appearance.
I am, of course, not the only lesbian to notice this problem. I came across a great article and particularly liked: "And you know what? I'm not alone. I know a lot of LBGT people who don't "look" gay or transgendered."
I cannot claim credit for her conclusion, but wish I could: "But now, it's time to take the next step. It's time for everyone—gay and straight—to set stereotypes about sexuality on a high, dusty shelf and forget them. Forever."
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